One Month.
Today is exactly one month from Baby Yar's due date. I'm not quite sure how I feel right now. I'm not quite sure how I SHOULD feel right now.
With huge life events, like our wedding and this little guy, I tend to compartmentalize things. I like to plan, plan, plan and get as much of the situation under control as possible. I figure, get everything done that I can control, be as prepared as I can for whatever else may happen, and then go with the flow at that point. Luckily, this is how Dave operates also, so we both get in a zone of trying to figure everything out ahead of time, and get done what we can in advance.
So, now we're a month away from having a baby and all we have to do is put the car seats in our cars. Everything is ready in the nursery. Little clothes are washed and put away. Hospital bags are mostly packed. Paperwork for maternity leave has been completed. All we need is the baby.
And now, I'm in a weird place. I worry sometimes that I haven't let myself get excited for this baby enough over the past nine months, or haven't thought enough about what kind of parent I want to be, or have somehow not made pregnancy the experience it is intended to be. It's almost like it's so close to being done, that now I worry that I did it wrong.
There are however, a few things that I do know, and want this baby to know:
1. He has the most wonderful father a kid could ever ask for. Dave surprised me and shared this blog with me today. I spent an hour crying at my desk reading, and re-reading all the posts he has lovingly written since we found out I was pregnant. Talk about a sweet surprise.
2. We are very excited for him to come and hang out with us! We have recently started talking about what we think he's going to look like when he gets here. Lots of thick dark hair and deep set eyes are two features we think we can pretty much count on. I'm hoping he looks just like Dave. If you have not seen pictures, he was one CUTE kid.
3. He is very, very loved. Not just by us, but by our families and friends as well. We have been so touched by the generosity of everyone in our lives through this whole process, and can't wait for everyone we love to meet him as well!
4. We will always do our best. Dave and I have a lot to learn about being parents, but our little guy can know that we will ALWAYS do our best to be the most supporting, loving and understanding parents we can as he grows up. Inevitably we will make mistakes, and so will he, but God-willing, we'll all make it out OK in the end.
5. His parents love each other very much. I don't think there is a parenting book or piece of advice out there that does not start with the statement that the best thing parents can do for their children is to have a happy, healthy marriage. He can always know that God comes first, then our marriage, and then our children. Our love was what started all of this, and will continue to be incredibly important throughout all of it.
Dave is the most important person in the world to me. He is kind, and thoughtful, and so unbelievably supporting and loving that it is often hard to believe I got so lucky. I'm sure this little guy will feel the same way once he gets to know him as his dad.
So here's to the last few weeks of baby-less life for Dave and I. May we be able to relax, enjoy it, enjoy each other and appreciate uninterrupted nights of sleep!
With huge life events, like our wedding and this little guy, I tend to compartmentalize things. I like to plan, plan, plan and get as much of the situation under control as possible. I figure, get everything done that I can control, be as prepared as I can for whatever else may happen, and then go with the flow at that point. Luckily, this is how Dave operates also, so we both get in a zone of trying to figure everything out ahead of time, and get done what we can in advance.
So, now we're a month away from having a baby and all we have to do is put the car seats in our cars. Everything is ready in the nursery. Little clothes are washed and put away. Hospital bags are mostly packed. Paperwork for maternity leave has been completed. All we need is the baby.
And now, I'm in a weird place. I worry sometimes that I haven't let myself get excited for this baby enough over the past nine months, or haven't thought enough about what kind of parent I want to be, or have somehow not made pregnancy the experience it is intended to be. It's almost like it's so close to being done, that now I worry that I did it wrong.
There are however, a few things that I do know, and want this baby to know:
1. He has the most wonderful father a kid could ever ask for. Dave surprised me and shared this blog with me today. I spent an hour crying at my desk reading, and re-reading all the posts he has lovingly written since we found out I was pregnant. Talk about a sweet surprise.
2. We are very excited for him to come and hang out with us! We have recently started talking about what we think he's going to look like when he gets here. Lots of thick dark hair and deep set eyes are two features we think we can pretty much count on. I'm hoping he looks just like Dave. If you have not seen pictures, he was one CUTE kid.
3. He is very, very loved. Not just by us, but by our families and friends as well. We have been so touched by the generosity of everyone in our lives through this whole process, and can't wait for everyone we love to meet him as well!
4. We will always do our best. Dave and I have a lot to learn about being parents, but our little guy can know that we will ALWAYS do our best to be the most supporting, loving and understanding parents we can as he grows up. Inevitably we will make mistakes, and so will he, but God-willing, we'll all make it out OK in the end.
5. His parents love each other very much. I don't think there is a parenting book or piece of advice out there that does not start with the statement that the best thing parents can do for their children is to have a happy, healthy marriage. He can always know that God comes first, then our marriage, and then our children. Our love was what started all of this, and will continue to be incredibly important throughout all of it.
Dave is the most important person in the world to me. He is kind, and thoughtful, and so unbelievably supporting and loving that it is often hard to believe I got so lucky. I'm sure this little guy will feel the same way once he gets to know him as his dad.
So here's to the last few weeks of baby-less life for Dave and I. May we be able to relax, enjoy it, enjoy each other and appreciate uninterrupted nights of sleep!
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